I would be gone tomorrow

There comes a time in your life when you realize that everything you were taught or strived for as a child comes to a screeching halt. You realize that you cannot please them anymore. You turn into your own person, someone they don't like. They try and control you. They try and make you into what they want. They want to be your puppet's master. They want to make you...them.

You gain skills and use them well. You want to show them your creation as you used to in kindergarten. Instead of posting it proudly on the refrigerater, they shake their head in disappointment because you are not creating what you want them to create.

You can't have the friends you have because they are different. They might change you into what they are. Oh please, get off it. Does this mean that if we lived in the 50's you'd ban me from being friends with black people? Heaven forbid I'd be friends with someone who is different! Everyone needs friends! It doesn't matter who or what they are! I've hurt some people....horribly because of you and your ways of thinking. Of trying to control me.

I got a job. I fund my own things. I bought my own car, I insure the car, I fix the car. Yet you think you can take the car when you "need" to go somewhere. You even ask to borrow money but yet when I ask, you say I should've saved better.

You say I need to grow up and take care of myself. Incase you haven't noticed. I do. I take responsibilty for the mistakes I make. I do my best to do with what I have. I fund my own projects and adventures. I make do. I make my decisions. I make my choices and accept the consequences. I deal with the damage.

I can't come to you anymore. You shut me down, or try and change it. I once told you of problems I was having and I regret it. You've tried to shut my best friends from my life. There is a reason I don't want you to meet the others. There is a reason I never tell you anything anymore...or show you anything. I'm sick and tired of being told I'm not good enough. I'm sick of being torn down and told the things I love are wrong. I'm sick of the constant guilt tripping and "you need to be better" talk.

If I could, I'd be gone tomorrow. I'd be happier I think. Living on my own, doing my own thing without you constantly asking or prodding into my life. You had no idea what I was doing in college. What makes this any different? I'm an adult. I pay for my things, I take care of myself. I'm not stable enough to move out yet, so I'm stuck here with you. But if I could, I'd be gone tomorrow. Believe me.

I would be gone tomorrow.